Sunday, 01 November 2009

• "I don't understand why you are still single"

  Okay, so sometimes guys will use this as a cheesy pick-up line to try to convince a girl that she is so perfect it is a miracle that no other guy has picked her up yet.

  But what about when other people say this, like a parent or a friend? The other day one of my friends who is in a happy relationship said this to me. I wasn't sure how to take it, I mean is it supposed to be a compliment coming from her? It felt more like she was implying that there must be something wrong with me because even though I am decent looking and have an okay social life, I am still single. It also sounded like she viewed being single as this horrible disgrace.

  Yes, I'm single. I meet guys all the time and I would like to have a boyfriend, sure. But I'm not going to date the first guy I come across who shows interest. I mean I'll go out with him, but if the chemistry is not there than it's not there, I'm not going to force anything. I have another friend who has been in a relationship for the past few months with a guy that she's never really been all that into. It started because of his interest in her, but recently that has faded too. He even fully admitted to her recently that he has a crush on another girl, but did she break up with him for this? No, they are still together in the most twisted, messed up relationship ever. They are both just the kind of people who feel that they "need" to have someone to be exclusive with. I've never been like that.

  The fact is I don't need someone. I am happy with my life for the most part. I like school and my future goals are more important to me than finding someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm only 19. I hopefully still have 4/5 of my life left to find someone.

  When I meet someone and we have chemistry than great. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't often hope for that to happen. I do and I'm excited for that day to come. But even though movies like The Notebook would have you think otherwise, life does not revolve around "the one". Relationships are a huge part of life, but they are not everything.

  I feel like society believes that if an attractive, well-rounded individual has been single for awhile their must be an issue there: either they are hiding their sexual orientation or they just like to hook-up all the time and hate monogamy or something. The fact that they possibly just haven't found the one for them is just unfathomable. However, that is usually the case.

  Has anyone ever said this to you? Have you ever assumed that there is something wrong with someone because they are always single?

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